Baby Boot Camp Scene Summary

Scene Summary: Baby Boot Camp

Baby Boot Camp
Chronicle	DC Chronicle
Game Date	November 17, 2015
Real Date	December 9, 2015 — February 11, 2016
Characters	Helena Taylor Lily Trevelyan Victor Carewe
Locations	Washington Chantry
Previous Scene	Assemble the Players (Helena, Lily) In Hushed Whispers (Victor)
Next Scene	Regrets of the Dying (Helena, Lily, Victor)
Content Warnings	Domestic Abuse, Misogyny
Original Scene	Baby Boot Camp

Baby Boot Camp is a scene from the DC Chronicle featuring Helena Taylor, Lily Trevelyan, and Victor Carewe. It depicts Helena teaching Lily the basics of Camarilla society to prepare her for the upcoming neonate contest.

Scene Summary

Helena is in a conference room at the Washington Chantry, in the middle of organizing several ring-bound binders, which she puts into different piles. She goes to a projector on the room's conference table and adjusts the lens until it focuses to her satisfaction, projecting PowerPoint slides against a wall. She flips through her notes while she waits for Lily to arrive and calls her in when she hears footsteps. Lily is annoyed to be hurried but is not surprised since Helena is always very energetic.

Lily arrives and asks if she has a dock so she can play her boot camp playlist, but Helena tells her they can listen to it after the presentation. Helena asks Lily to remove her headphones since this is an important explanation, and then uses a pointer to highlight parts of her slides as she explains her plan for Lily to compete with the neonates from other clans at Court in three weeks, citing Jacque Beaumont and an unknown Ventrue as the competition but confident that Lily can defeat them. She briefly loses her clicker and uses Thaumaturgy to find it, while Lily notices the slide mentions clothing and asks what's wrong with hers, guessing that there must be geeks in other clans, too. Helena agrees that her clothes don't matter, but explains that the other clans will care about her appearance and that being a geek is irrelevant to making them like her.

Helena describes other vampires as judgmental and dangerous, which causes Lily to wonder if vampire society will remind her of dealing with her abusive mother. She asks Helena what to do and guesses it might involve sucking up, which Helena cheerfully confirms. She shows Lily a slide with a list of local dignitaries to suck up to, including Prince Marcus Vitel, Seneschal Monica Black, Harpy Cynthia Black, Pontifex Peter Dorfman, and Primogen Chas Voyager and Edward Walker. Lily doesn't like the idea but agrees to try, asking what to do if someone mistreats her, and Helena explains that it is her job to prevent or address anyone who misbehaves on Lily's behalf. She explains who all the dignitaries above are, advising Lily to avoid talking to them if she can but encouraging her to speak to anyone her own age and rank to make new friends.

Lily is unhappy with the idea and objects that she is not a child and has already made a friend, describing her previous meeting with Kevin Canterbury, including him putting his finger in her mouth to help her with her fangs. Helena explains that Lily is actually considered a child in terms of vampire society but that she refuses to keep young vampires Unreleased for as long as other clans often do. She starts to move on, but then registers what Lily described and panics, demanding to know if Lily bit this person, which Lily finds funny but confirms that she did not. Helena gets up and begins pacing angrily, explaining to Lily how dangerous this was since it could have resulted in a bloodbond to him if she had lost control and entered Frenzy, and tries to guess who it was before admitting to herself that she knows it must have been Kevin.

Lily is upset and guilty, apologizing before Helena tells her that it was not her fault but Kevin's. She threatens to sink Kevin in the river, which upsets Lily, who thinks he was nice and does not want him to be hurt on her account. Helena relents and reassures her again as Lily explains that she thought Kevin might want to be friends, and Helena says that they all want to be her friend but that she has to be wary since vampires are as a rule dangerous and likely to take advantage of her. Shaken, Lily asks Helena for some blood tea, and Helena sends Victor a request to make some with Thaumaturgy, causing him to cut his break short and begin making it.

Lily confesses that her mother abused her and that she has trouble believing in herself as a result, worrying as she does that Helena will treat her the same way. Helena is surprised and tells her that Clan Tremere considers her a valuable asset and will always think she has worth, and then shares the story of her own time as a neonate, telling Lily that she was a magician's assistant and that no one ever thought she would amount to anything, either. She explains that she was able to excel in the clan because she studied and learned everything she could, and that the Tremere are better than everyone else because they only ask their members to continue to learn throughout eternity rather than having inborn qualities. She points out that Lily was chosen for the Embrace and her mother was not, which makes Lily feel better.

Victor arrives with the tea and begins serving it. Helena goes on to explain the cultures of the other clans to Lily, who is unsure she can make any of them happy. She points out that she has no nice clothes and is not good at flirting, which will make making friends with Clan Toreador difficult. Helena decides that they will try to keep Lily away from any of the older Toreador and offers to send Victor shopping with her so that she can get some nice clothes, which Victor stoically agrees to in order to spare Helena any more stress. Helena also starts to explain other clan cultures, but Lily interrupts her, passionately refusing to wear dresses or makeup. Realizing that she has been yelling, she apologizes to Victor and asks if she can dress down. Helena explains that she can't, since this would make her a target in vampire society, and repeats that she can wear anything at the chantry but has to dress up for formal occasions. She offers for Lily to wear suits instead of dresses and to have professionals do her makeup at a salon, which Lily agrees to grudgingly. Helena badly wants to keep training for the day, but recognizes that Lily needs to stop and that she sometimes pushes too hard.

Lily apologizes for her outburst and repeats that she doesn't think well of herself, to which Helena replies that the clan will think well of her even if she can't. She worries that the meeting has gone on too long but then is excited to think that Lily can go to the Prince's next evening at Limbo, which she can use as a test run before the competition.

Script Summary

The script summary for this scene pares it down to only dialogue and action directions, allowing for a quicker and easier read through what was actually said and done by the characters. Click on the "Expand" tag to the right to view the entire script summary for this scene.

Baby Boot Camp Script Summary

Helena places a large number of binders into several piles. She adjusts the lens on a projector on the table, which is projecting a PowerPoint presentation with a slide of Lily surrounded by colorful goals against the wall. Footsteps are heard in the hall.

HELENA: Lily, get in here, come on! We don't have a moment to lose!

Lily enters the room, yelling to hear herself over her headphones.

LILY: Oh, I'm not moving fast enough for you, am I?

She holds up her phone.

LILY: You got an iPhone dock in here? I made a boot camp playlist.

Helena shooes Lily to a chair and Lily sits down.

HELENA: That sounds amazing, but playlist after presentation. And headphones off, Lily, this is important. So important. Maybe the most important moment of your life. Very important.

She takes a long white pointer frmo under the table and points it at the projected slides.

HELENA: Now, this is you, Lily, aka The Best. As you know, we are now in a clan competition with Clan Toreador and Clan Ventrue to illustrate how much more awesome and better our neonates — that's you, newish vampires are called neonates, it was in the binder — are than theirs. Which is obviously so much better we can't actually illustrate it at all, but they'll get the idea.

She taps at various parts of the slide.

HELENA: So in three weeks we're going to have you at court and you're going to excel at all these things like the fantastic example of vampiric perfection that you are one day destined to be. Don't worry, your competition is that Toreador neonate we just met, plus whatever random Ventrue Edward can find in time, so we're practically guaranteed as long as we achieve perfection and never make a mistake ever. "So we're going to hit what I like to call the Five Fantastic Groups of interacting in Kindred society, and I figure you probably need a week on appearance and behavior, a week on knowledge, and then you can use the last week to choose a gift and figure out your WOW factor.

She uses the Thaumaturgy discipline to find her lost clicker and retrieves it from the floor.

HELENA: Any questions so far?

LILY: I do, actually. What's wrong with my clothes?

HELENA: Oh, nothing, they're just clothes. I really don't care what you wear while you're here. You can practice rituals in your pajamas in your room, if you want to have comfy feet while you contemplate circulation. But we're not talking about you being here, we're talking about you being out there, with all the other clans, because let me tell you, they care. Okay, they care, just, so much.

LILY: Surely the clans have their share of geeks like me, too... Uh... Right?

HELENA: Oh, probably. Definitely the Nosferatu are basically a giant LAN party at all hours of the night, you know, and I'm sure a few of the others, but the high clans? No.

She shrugs.

HELENA: Well, except the Anarchs, but they're irrelevant. Also, whether you're a 'geek' or anything else is irrelevant, too. They don't care what you are, they care what you do. And what you do is these things right here!

She uses the clicker to change slides. The next slide says "Vampires are JUDGMENTAL ASSHOLES", accompanied by a loud sound effect.

HELENA: Because this is really the whole point here. When you're not at the chantry you have to compete with these people, and they are piranhas who will devour your twitching corpse if you let them.

Lily gives a sarcastic thumbs-up.

LILY: Oh. Lovely. So it will be dealing with my mum on a grander scale, then? How exactly do I fight them off, considering they'll devour my scrawny arse if I let them? Or does it involve a lot of... sucking up?

HELENA: Oh, honey, Lily, you're not going to fight anyone. If you were any more ill-equipped to fight anyone you would be literally a moving bag of blood with an EAT ME sign on it.

She returns to the first slide and points to the word "Presents".

HELENA: You are going to suck up to everyone. You are going to suck up so hard you begin to radiate gravity. It's a very good life skill, you'll be excellent at it.

She advances to a new slide entitled "Brown-Nosing Like a Boss", showing pictures of local dignitaries Marcus Vitel, Monica Black, Cynthia Black, Peter Dorfman, Edward Walker, and Chas Voyager. She waves a hand at Lily.

HELENA: All right, these are the people you need to suck up to. This should all look familiar from your binders.

LILY: Right, don't... piss off the elders. You want me to lick the shit off their shoes even when I don't feel up to it? I can do that. So... lie through my teeth, is that what you're saying? Like... say the Prince or somebody is really pissing me off, do I just lie through my teeth and be cheerful?

HELENA: Yep, that is exactly what you do. Although honestly if you're talking to the Prince for more than the few seconds he'll probably give you when we present you, there has been a grave error somewhere down the line. Most of these people aren't going to give you the time of day, which is for the best, because as I said they are terrifying all-consuming monster people.

She taps her own nose with the pointer.

HELENA: That's why you have a Primogen, me! If you get upset by something — I mean like something is really wrong, like they're going to put a neonate in a bonfire or they've just declared your face illegal or something, not just that they're snubbing you, they're going to hella do that — you come tell me, and you don't tell them. Then I handle it if it's a problem that we can handle.

She taps Peter's face on the slide.

HELENA: This is Peter Dorfman, our Pontifex, which means he is in charge of the entire clan for the whole eastern half of the United States. He is probably not going to talk to you much, which is fine, he doesn't usually bother until you've been here a few years. He's my boss, and of course everyone else's too. He's only here about half the time since he's running the important half of the country the rest of it, but you'll probably see him at court. Smile and don't say anything and I'll talk to him for you.

She taps Edward's and Chas' faces in turn.

HELENA: You saw these two at the party last night — they're the Primogen for Clan Ventrue and Clan Toreador. Not nearly as important, but they're like me — they represent their families so we all have to get together and talk about things in subcommittees to make decisions, which is really when they're at their best.

She taps Vitel's face.

HELENA: That up there is the Prince, you're going to want to completely avoid him because he's literally in charge of everything and can have you killed if you annoy him. Also you're going to want to avoid him anyway, since he is completely terrifying.

She shrugs.

HELENA: He's not the worst Prince, I mean he doesn't randomly execute people or anything, but still, don't let him notice you, it's for the best. Those are his two daughters, Monica and Cynthia Black; Monica is his right-hand woman and second-in-command of the city, so also hide from her whenever possible, and Cynthia, who you met the other night, is in charge of punishing anyone who talks to someone they weren't supposed to or makes an embarrassing scene, so I think maybe for you she's your biggest boogeywoman and you should try to be a post when she's around. But other than them, and literally everyone else older and more experienced than you, you can talk to whomever you want! We'll do a run-down of the neonates later so you'll know who's safe to be polite and friendly to and make best friends that forever cement a political voting bloc bond between families.

LILY: But Helena, I told you I made a friend already, the very kind guy who helped me with my teeth. He... tasted good, by the way. I mean, I didn't get his name but he was nice and helpful and very hospitable like Americans are supposed to be and oh, shit, I forgot, now I'm the one talking too much and... keep talking. I'm not a complete child.

HELENA: Oh, Lily, Lily. You fabulous little fanged monstrosity. You are a complete child, that's the thing. Not in the way you mean, but for all this stuff?

She waves at the slide projected on the wall.

HELENA: It takes people literally years to learn it all enough to not be considered children again, although of course I expect you to be much quicker and better at it than most. You're Tremere, after all. In fact, you're actually called a childe now, which just means that you're in the care of the clan until we decide you can graduate. Which we want to happen sooner rather than later!

She taps the table with her pointer.

HELENA: We want everyone to achieve their full potential here and then perform amazingly and spend the rest of eternity discovering new frontiers, so don't worry, it won't last long. You should see some of the other clans. Keeping their childer unreleased for fifty years at a time. They're more like daycare facilities for wayward vampires than real clans. Now, if we advanced to the next slide, we can see...

She turns back to the slides, then turns around again.

HELENA: Wait, what? What do you mean he tasted good? We aren't tasting people. Are you tasting people? No one is tasting people. Lily, did you bite someone? Tell me you did not bite someone.

LILY: Bite?

Lily giggles.

LILY: No, no, I promise he just stuck his finger in my mouth to hide the fangs. God, you should see your face! All he did was stick a finger in my mouth, promise. So what were you saying about the next slide?

Helena gets up.

HELENA: Lily. Lily, no, this is not funny. This is so far from funny it's like a single rollerskate being the last one left in the rental dock, and it's not even your size. This is so not funny it's a clown after being dismembered and left in a childrens' restaurant buffet line. It's so not funny, it's — okay, I'm getting off-track, the point is, it's not funny. Didn't you read Chapter 27, Fighting the Frenzy?!

She backs away from the table and begins pacing back and forth.

HELENA: Okay, no, this is salvageable, you didn't bite him, everything is fine. We're going to be just fine. No, okay, it is not fine, because he stuck his finger in your mouth, and that is not okay, not ever. He knows better than that. Lily, you can't always control your mouth now, okay, you are a vampire. Even when you don't want to bite people, sometimes you bite them. If you'd been hungry, or nervous, or twitched wrong, you could have bitten him without even realizing you were doing it, that's just the way it is, especially when you're a tiny precious unworldly baby creature. And then we would be in so much trouble.

She uses the Thaumaturgy discipline to place several notes in various places around the chantry, then sits back down.

LILY: I-I-I'm sorry, I didn't... I-I-I... He... I've fucked up again, haven't I?

HELENA: It's fine, we're completely fine. Obviously you won't do it again and he won't do it again because I'm going to seal him in a dumpster and sink him in the river, and everything will be fantastic.

LILY: Please don't dump him in the river, he was very charming.

Helena uses the clicker to advance to a slide entitled "Everyone Is Terrible And Will Try to Take Advantage of You".

HELENA: Which brings us to our new next slide, Everyone Is Terrible And Will Try To Take Advantage Of You.

LILY: I... I...I only thought that... he might want to be friends, seeing as we're from the same clan and everything.

There is a short pause.

LILY: Helena, can I have some blood tea?

Helena uses the Thamaturgy discipline to send a message to Victor requesting tea. In the servant's quarters, Victor is drinking tea and looking through Helena's memos on a computer. He sets the tea down and takes off his jacket to hang it over his chair. He turns up the burner on the stove and begins steeping tea. Upstairs, Helena leans forward and pats Lily's hands.

HELENA: It's not your fault. It's his fault, which is why he's going in the river. It's not your fault for being brand-new, you just need to learn the rules before you get in trouble, and that's why we have binders and presentations and we don't let Kevin go anywhere near your room.

She grumbles and lets go of Lily.

HELENA: Oh, I probably won't put him in the river, this time. But he'd be fine if I did, it's not like he needs to breathe. But I will lodge a formal reprimand. On his permanent record. We do all want to be your friends, Lily! The problem is that, viz re ipso facto slide #2, vampires are assholes. So they'll try to take advantage of you, if they aren't directly responsible for you, even if they seem like they're friendly. Some of them can't really even help it, it's just the way they are.

LILY: So don't trust anyone. Got it. Be suspicious of everyone, don't fall to the Dark Side of the Force, blah, blah—no, really, I'm listening. I just... Well...

HELENA: Yep, exactly. Be suspicious of everyone, but don't lose your youthful optimism. But also, trust no one. But try to have fun.

LILY: I never have been very good at fitting in anywhere. My mum was an abusive bitch — not that she hit me or anything, it's just... before I got embraced, she killed my self-worth too. I never felt good enough. I still don't, even as a vampire.

HELENA: Oh, Lily, catch up, dear. Self-worth doesn't matter anymore, you have concrete worth now. Literally, you are an asset of Clan Tremere and if anything happened to you, you can bet we'd get our pound of flesh out of whatever clan was foolish enough to harass our neonates.

She leans toward Lily.

HELENA: Okay. You know why I was made into a neonate, like a kajillion years ago? I was a magician's assistant and basically, nobody ever thought I was going to be worth very much. That wasn't a very prestigious career then, I can tell you. But I decided I was going to learn everything there was to learn, and I studied until I figured out exactly how they did every single thing, and that's why they made me a member of the Clan, because I figured things out. And it didn't matter what I was doing before I figured them out. And that's why Clan Tremere is better than the other clans. You don't have to be born beautiful like the Toreador always want, you don't have to boss everyone around like the Ventrue always want, and so on and so forth. All you have to do, all you ever have to do, is learn, and figure things out. And you'll have a place. And we don't take anyone who can't figure things out, so really, you're here and your mother isn't, so obviously one of you had the superior raw materials.

She uses the clicker to advance to a new slide entitled "Clans Being Clans", showing symbols for the Camarilla clans.

HELENA: So, anyway, onward. You're going to be basically having a walk-off with the neonates of all the other clans, so here are the things that other clans will expect out of you. They're all going to try to influence the judging, so we're going to get you groomed up to beat them at their own game.

LILY: I can try to be pretty, but I'm making no promises. I mean, not much in my closet would make the Toreaders happy unless they like hoodies and sweatshirts... and I'm... poor. On a very slim budget. Whatever. And I don't know how to hit on people without making a complete fool of myself.

HELENA: Well, we'll point you at the Toreador neonates instead of any of the older guard, and hopefully they'll find the foolishness endearing. But at least the wardrobe part is easy, this is an event where you're representing the clan, so we'll get you something to wear. Victor will take you shopping. Also makeup, a haircut, all that. We'll have you polished up like an agate.

She points at various parts of the slide with her pointer.

HELENA: The Ventrue are easy, just feel free to let them see that they make you uncomfortable and you don't dare talk to them. Thank goodness, you won't have to talk to anyone in power for at least a few decades, so you don't have to learn how to talk to them directly yet. Malkavians, well, you never know with them, just roll with the punches. I'm not sure if they're even fielding anyone, honestly, but we'll see. Don't say anything to piss the Brujah off and be nice and pretty in their vicinity, and they're pretty easy to handle. The Nosferatu... Well, just don't stare. I doubt they're competing, but they might have a vote, so don't give them a reason to use it against us.

Victor arrives with a tray of tea.

VICTOR: Madam. Miss.

He puts the tray on the table and then stands next to the door.

LILY: Ooh, blood tea! Thank you, Victor, I needed something hot—

She splutters and licks blood from her lips.

LILY: Sorry, Helena, but I am not going in a dress or makeup. It's just...not happening. Ever. I'll do whatever the hell I have to, just not in some formal, frilly, bloody dress!!!

She pauses.

LILY: Apologies, Victor

Victor nods at her.

HELENA: Yeah, you are, though.

LILY: Can I wear trainers — sorry, sneakers — and jeans or something?

HELENA: Look, I don't care if you want to do rituals in your room in pajamas and a sports bra, while you're here you can do whatever you want. But at court, you have to wear the uniform just like the rest of us. Like, all that stuff about them eating you alive if you're out of line? Not being dressed right is out of line. It doesn't take much of an excuse. So polished up you'll be. That's part of life now.

She pauses.

HELENA: Jewelry, perfume, makeup, that's all non-negotiable, but maybe we can do something about the dress. We could always get you tailored for a very nice suit, all the pieces and bits and whatnot. A bit Brujah, but not unacceptable.

She sips her tea.

HELENA: Victor's excellent at suits, and he loves shopping anyway, don't you, Victor?

VICTOR: Absolutely, madam.

LILY: As long as I can wear a blue suit. I just...

She sips her tea.

LILY: I don't want to fuck up in front of everyone, and I'm going to look like a bloody clown in makeup.

HELENA: Of course you're not, you're going to go the salon and they'll do your makeup professionally. It'd be better if you could learn it yourself so you can handle it in the future, but for now, I think that's enough new things, don't you? There, there. Like I said, you don't have to think highly of yourself, we'll make everyone else do it for you. Oh!

LILY: Sorry, I... don't think very highly of myself at all, really.

She sighs. Helena taps on the table.

HELENA: There, there. Like I said, you don't have to think highly of yourself, we'll make everyone else do it for you. Oh! I know! Ohhh my gosh, it's too perfect. The Prince has his weekly parties, and one is coming up on Tuesday! How about you take the week to get ready and then you can go use it as a test run? Meet some people, show off your sparkling new demeanor, convince everyone to drop out of the competition before it even begins. It's open to all so you could meet anyone.

LILY: Whatever you feel is best, Helena.

Trivia

• The competition Helena and Lily refer to is the one Helena challenged the other clans to in Assemble the Players.
  
  
• Lily is wearing a N7 Alliance Navy hoodie, a reference to the Mass Effect video games.
  
  
• Lily consistently wears headphones because she suffers from hyperacusis, a condition that causes her to be easily overwhelmed and in pain when hearing loud or continuous noise.
  
  
• The Toreador neonate Helena mentions in passing as Lily's competition is Jacque Beaumont.
  
  
• Helena assumes that any Ventrue neonate Edward Walker can scrounge up is likely to lose this competition; he comes up with Hope Gutierrez, who will later prove her correct.
  
  
• The Jonas Helena mentions as having taken an interest in Lily is Lily's grandsire, Jonas Newcastle.
  
  
• The encounter Lily describes with Kevin Canterbury occurs in In Hushed Whispers.
  
  
• Helena mentions Lily being bound to "the council"; all newly-Embraced Tremere are ritually bloodbound to the Council of Seven to prevent them from being compromised by anyone else.
  
  
• The other Tremere Helena suspects of harassing Lily besides Kevin are her own childer, Hans Schmidt and James van Dorn.
  
  
• Lily is distressed by Helena's threat to sink Kevin in the river, but as Helena points out, Kevin is a vampire and would merely be inconvenienced by this since he no longer needs to breathe.
  
  
• The Latin phrase Helena uses to Lily, "viz re ipso facto", is a combination of several ways of referencing her slide, and literally means "to wit, regarding, as a direct consequence of".
  
  
• Lily jokes about not falling to the Dark Side of the Force, a reference to the Star Wars film series.
  
  
• Although Helena only gets to show Lily five slides, she notes that there are 82 more that are not shown.
  
  
• Helena assumes that Clan Nosferatu will not compete in the neonate competition, but she is incorrect; they enter Glenn Courier.
  
  
• Lily's violent reaction to being asked to wear feminine clothing is a due to having been abused by her mother for not being conventionally attractive enough.
  
  
• Helena's plan to take Lily to the next weekly Limbo performance appears to have been abandoned later, as she does not appear in Regrets of the Dying.

Helena's PowerPoint Slides

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  Slide 1 of Helena's presentation

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  Slide 2 of Helena's presentation

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  Slide 3 of Helena's presentation

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  Slide 4 of Helena's presentation

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  Slide 5 of Helena's presentation