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Scene Summary: Caravan
Caravan
link-Andres_Lund CasperFace.png ColinFace2.png
GinevraFace.png IanFace.png MaeveFace.png
Chronicle DC Chronicle
Game Date SPECIFY
Real Date October 20 - December 27, 2018
Characters Casper Iversson
Colin Thomas
Ginevra Bianchi
Ian Kross
Maeve Glaistig
Locations Limbo
Thomas Circle Apartments
Thomas Circle Penthouse
Previous Scene Sign Here and Also Here (Andres)
Be of Good Cheer (Casper, Colin, Ginevra, Ian, Maeve)
Next Scene Adrift (Casper, Maeve)
Three Things That Were Real and One That Wasn't (Colin)
Green-Eyed Monster (Ginevra, Ian)
Content Warnings Ableism, Animal Cruelty, Dubious Consent, Mental Illness, Mind Control, Misogyny, Racism, Substance Abuse, Violence
Original Scene Caravan

Caravan is a scene from the DC Chronicle featuring Casper Iversson, Colin Thomas, Ginevra Bianchi, Ian Kross, and Maeve Glaistig , with a minor appearance by Andres Lund. It depicts the group socializing and telling stories after being affected by a joy-inducing supernatural power. Unlike most scenes, it begins in medias res immediately after Be of Good Cheer.

Scene Summary

Ginevra is in her studio apartment on the phone with Victor Carewe, with whom she is arguing about Helena Taylor's insistence on

Script Summary

The script summary for this scene pares it down to only dialogue and action directions, allowing for a quicker and easier read through what was actually said and done by the characters. Click on the "Expand" tag to the right to view the entire script summary for this scene.

Caravan Script Summary

Casper, Ginevra, Ian, and Maeve are in the parking lot at Limbo. Ginevra runs inside to Maeve's dressing room, where she collects a cooler bag before running out again. Outside, Casper, Ian, and Maeve are heading toward Ian's car. Casper and Ian are talking while Colin and Maeve are whispering together.

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IAN: Oh no, I doubt that. It's only a recreation.

Colin nods at Maeve.

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COLIN: I reckon you're right. Folk can get real ornery when they find out, too.

He accepts the rose from Ian that Maeve is holding out to him.

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COLIN: Now ain't that something.

He yells at Ian.

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COLIN: You soft as shit, boy! Oh, I don't know, girl. Sure he hems'n haws 'bout that car'a his so much you'd think it was his own child, but has he ever bought it a red rose?

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MAEVE: That is true, mo ghra.[1] Look at you, loved more than the car! That's how you know you've truly made it with a Ventrue.

She winks at Casper. Ginevra catches up and hears the end of the conversation.

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GINEVRA: Immagino che Sua Signoria non possa più collezionare cavalli, o qualunque cosa facesse.[2]

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COLIN: And it's always been cars, don't let him tell you no different. He ain't never had the right kinda appreciation for good horseflesh.

Ginevra opens the passenger car door for Maeve.

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GINEVRA: Ecco, piccola.[3]

She pauses, then opens the back right door.

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GINEVRA: Aspetti.[4] One of you two sirs go ahead and take the front.

Maeve kisses Ginevra's cheek and gets into the car, sitting in the middle of the back seat. Ginevra kisses her back.

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CASPER: Probably less snug if I sit up front, if that's alright with you Shaggy? It might be a tight squeeze back there if I tried.

Ian gets into the driver's seat and adjusts the mirrors.

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IAN: I doubt you'd fit back there even without company.

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COLIN: Course I'm getting in the back! You gotta give the ladies what they want, I say.

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IAN: That's the problem with the Zagato, really. They elongated the nose, which looks much nicer, but they made up for it in back. I don't know why they bothered with a backseat at all, honestly. I'd rather a decent-sized trunk myself.

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GINEVRA: Yeah, this back seat is not designed for somebody built like a firefighter who plays rugby on the weekends, sorry, Mr. Iversson.

Colin taps Ian's nose with the rose, then gets into the car and crawls to the far side. Ginevra gets in behind him and closes the door.

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CASPER: Wait was rugby practice this weekend?

He gets in the passenger side of the car and closes the door. Maeve laughs.

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MAEVE: You don't need the practice. I daresay it's perilously near to cheating already, unless you're only playing your clanmates.

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CASPER: Everyone needs practice , and you'd be surprised, we did play sports back at the Heim.

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MAEVE: Oh, you're wrong, Casper. I'm not surprised at all.

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CASPER: Over a dozen Brujah in full speed and contact sports - exhilarating if a little bruising. Mostly I just trained the ghouls as the youngest. Sword fighting, the old languages, how to use the gifts of the blood they were starting to develop in case they ever made the change.

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GINEVRA: Riuscite a immaginare, una dozzina di lui? Viviamo nel paese sbagliato.[5]

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MAEVE: Comprerò i biglietti aerei se mi prometti di mandarmi tutte le foto della tua crociera in Scandinavia. Dovrà avere almeno tre scandali, altrimenti non ne varrebbe nemmeno la pena.[6]

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COLIN: You need least fourteen for'a good game'a rugby, but I bet'cha they got teams all over, if you looking.

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MAEVE: That sounds nice, a great big family like that. You always have such lovely stories. We'd have made room. It is probably best if you sit up front, though, if only for the sake of your poor legs, Casper!

She arranges her skirts and then cuddles Colin. Ian grumbles.

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MAEVE: And besides, now I get to be the luckiest of all the ladies tonight, because every one of them will be jealous of Ginevra and me getting to take the gentleman of the hour home with us.

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COLIN: Ain't no place I'd rather be, darling! Them folks was nice'n all, but I get turned around something awful if I go too long pretendin' words ain't got meanings behind 'em.

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MAEVE: I understand. They can get away from you after a while. But you did so marvelously! I am sure I will get nothing in my mail except for love letters for you all week.

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COLIN: He ain't goin' like that. Thinks it means we won't appreciate him.

He taps her nose with the rose.

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MAEVE: As if people sending cards around ever meant anything.

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GINEVRA: She's wrong. People sending cards and flowers totally means things. You get your fifteen minutes.

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IAN: Too right, Ginevra. No one goes through all the effort to send something for no reason.

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GINEVRA: Exactly. If someone bothered sending a card, at the very least they want you to pay attention to something.

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MAEVE: I didn't mean you, Mr. Kross, of course. With you it is always effortful, I never doubt. Why, the effort you put in is positively enormous, anyone can see that.

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GINEVRA: Well, there you go.

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IAN: That's not - It's not just anyone I'm concerned with, Ms. Glaistig. I'm surprised any of us got out in one piece. I hope it's not always so eventful.

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CASPER: Usually not, I would say you're right that tonight was particularly exuberant.

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MAEVE: Even if Ian apparently wishes he were putting us in the trunk instead of the back seat. Maybe we don't rank above the car after all. Oh, listen to him, as if all of us had as much trouble getting outside as he did. You'd think we were all nearly chained up in a dungeon.

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IAN: I recall a fair bit of trouble now and then.

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GINEVRA: Honey, if anyone ever puts you in a trunk...

She puts her arm around Maeve's waist.

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IAN: Don't tempt me.

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COLIN: He wouldn't never!

He taps the back of Ian's head with the rose.

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COLIN: Then what'd he have to fuss about? He needs us, girl. We're the only thing keeping him from shoutin' at strangers on the street.

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MAEVE: Oh, then we're a public service, sweetest heart. Think of all the people who would be frowned at if we weren't there.

Ian and Maeve both laugh.

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IAN: Dammit, Colin. I'm driving, you're going to get us all killed.

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MAEVE: Yes, you think that's funny because the both of you wouldn't even skin your knees. The rest of us would be a tragedy.

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GINEVRA: Yeah, speaking as the breathing portion of the car, don't harass the driver, Mr. Colin. Some of us don't bounce.

Colin taps Ginevra's nose with the rose.

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COLIN: Naw, girl, I bet you'd bounce least once. Though it prolly depends on how fast we was going at the time. But still. You'd be surprised, sorts'a things that bounce.

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GINEVRA: Okay, yeah, but I wouldn't walk away. Stop hitting people with that thing or you'll knock the head off before we can get it in water, Mr. Colin.

Colin lays the rose in his lap.

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COLIN: Don't you worry, none, girl. It's already dead. It died when they went'n cut it off the bush.

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IAN: Keep him from doing anything stupid and we'll be fine.

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COLIN: I ain't never done nothing stupid in my whole life! The very idea.

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CASPER: It is a very impressive vehicle all the same. I am not sure they make luxury mini vans so trunk space might be the price you pay.

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COLIN: I used t'have me a van. Could fit 'bout near anything in the back'a there. People, motorcycles, lawn mowers, one time I got a cow in there, which she won't too happy about, I tell you that.

He pulls Maeve close. She hums happily and nuzzles his chin, then nuzzles Ginevra as well.

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COLIN: Hey! Casper. Casper. Son. You start fiddling with that radio and you find us something good to listen to while we go.

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IAN: There won't be anything good on, you know. But you're welcome to try.

He starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot to begin driving home.

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MAEVE: Oh, he'll find something good, I'm sure, he always does! Probably jazz.

Casper chuckles.

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CASPER: That predictable am I? Hmm.

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MAEVE: Predictable? I never called you predictable. Would I ever say such a thing to someone, Ginevra? Of course I wouldn't.

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GINEVRA: You would never say something like that.

Casper pokes hesitantly at the flatscreen. He huffs and selects a channel entitled Oldies Jazz (1910-1940).

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IAN: It was a rather good show. I can't say I absolutely hated it, at least.

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MAEVE: Oh, you see? He didn't hate it. That's almost as good as being let in the car, you know. That's praise.

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COLIN: Don't let on you noticed or we'll all be bouncing down the road. You know how he gets.

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CASPER: I cant wait to see you two there again Shaggy. I'll have to teach you to speed up your fingers while not harming the strings, it takes a bit of practice but I'm sure you'll pick it up in no time.

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COLIN: That'd be real swell'a you, son! Think'a all the songs I could play then. Shoot.

He tickles Maeve.

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COLIN: What'chu say? You reckon I ought'a wander on down to the crossroads after, win myself one'a them fine guitars'a gold?

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MAEVE: Hmm, is that guitars? Be careful, or you'll run into Pieter doing the same thing and the two of you would have to duel or something.

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COLIN: Oh, I reckon we'll just share, it comes to that. We real good at sharing.

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MAEVE: Oh, of course you are, siúil.[7] I can't think of two people more likely to play turn and turnabout fairly, of course.

A new song begins to play on the radio.

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MAEVE: That's lovely, there, didn't I say he'd choose something good?

Casper begins to cry, a moment later also laughing. He blots his face with a handkerchief.

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CASPER: ...Well... I'll be damned.

Ian clears his throat.

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IAN: Not bad at all.

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GINEVRA: Uh.

Maeve sits forward and reaches to put her hand on Casper's shoulder.

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MAEVE: Casper. Are you all right? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tease.

Casper laughs.

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CASPER: Oh goodness no! I am sorry - it's just the song. I hadn't heard it in a while - that's my father.

Maeve pets his shoulder.

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MAEVE: Oh! Then this really was meant just for you, wasn't it? What a lovely way to be outmatched in music for the evening.

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COLIN: Stories and music are two dancin' partners that never did tire of one another. You oughta tell us a story to go along.

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MAEVE: Oh, yes! Unless you'd rather not, of course.

Casper shakes his head.

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CASPER: A story? Not sure it's remarkable or interesting, but I suppose I can... My Mama and Papa were always poor, both from the wrong side of Södermalm, lots of people with little to put together. She was a baker's daughter from Norway and my Papa the son of farmers who came to the big city to learn music. He was very good, but like many young men his age his dreams were larger than his luck. He first set eyes on my mother in a bar he was performing at for supper and a single drink and for whatever reason she fell for him - until he started talking to her. He called her exotic - which you must understand my mother - didn't not go well for him. Now he found out from one of her friends that she was a regular at this establishment, and booked stage time - for supper and a single drink - just so he could see her again. They would talk, from time to time, mostly little jabs and snipes but it was clear to everyone they couldn't stop gravitating towards one another. She told him of course she couldn't marry a man who only played for supper and one drink - she would want many children, and need someone to provide for them.

He shrugs. Maeve lets go of his shoulder and nestles against Colin.

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CASPER: So my father wrote a thousand songs - I know, I don't believe the number either - each with her name. They say a broken clock is right at least twice a day, and he actually had a minor hit. It provided a small nest egg and he told my mother that it must be destiny because the song was named after her. It was enough to start a family, my Mother, stubborn as she was already knew she was in love with the man and eventually I was born. We survived on the small nest egg for a little while, eventually, the money dried up. Turns out after 1930 marrying a Jewish woman wasn't particularly popular and it made finding work difficult. So we struggled and as the war continued on it got more and more bleak. They even considered fleeing to the Americas but we didn't have enough money - but as luck would have it some ad man found my Papa's old song, used it as a backing for a crooning jingle for ladies stockings of all things. It got popular enough that my father started to get offers to play again and with the war over he could afford to even send me to a decent school where I learned a little law and city planning. Thanks to ladies stockings.

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COLIN: So that means that song right there is the only reason you're right here? Hot dang, that's a helluva origin story, son.

He searches his pockets. Thomas Circle Apartments appear on the horizon.

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CASPER: I suppose you're right, it is. I'd sing you the jingle but I am not sure the awful puns would translate.

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COLIN: Try it out on me. I love me a good untranslatable pun.

Maeve laughs. She and Ginevra hold hands.

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MAEVE: He's right! If anyone can at least catch the spirit, it'll be him. Wasted on me, though, I'm afraid. Linguistics are not really my talent, as I'm sure anyone in this car could tell you. My accents alone.

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IAN: I can agree there.

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GINEVRA: Yeah, you do sound like a Lombard. No offense.

Maeve laughs. Casper sings a short song in Swedish, laughing several times throughout.

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COLIN: Son, they's ladies in the car.

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IAN: A happy ending, after all. And here we are.

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CASPER: Happy is not the word my Mama would use, the grumpy old woman, but yes I think they were. Thank you. You're right, Miss Bianchi, she DOES sound like one of the starlets of the silver screen doesn't she!?

Ian pulls into the Thomas Circle parking lot and parks the car. Colin gathers handsful of Maeve's hair and pulls them under her chin.

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COLIN: Yeah. I reckon I can see it. Hey. Hey, Casper. Hey, Casper, look. Langbarðr,[8] yeah?

Maeve collapses in laughter, followed shortly by Ginevra and Casper. Ian tries to cover his mouth but fails and laughs.

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IAN: Beautiful. Really. It suits you.

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MAEVE: I have missed my true style all these years.

Casper points both Colin and Ginevra.

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CASPER: Muninn! Huginn!

Ian gets out of the car. Maeve takes her hair back from Colin.

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MAEVE: You've - you've killed my poor assistant - Ginevra - You silly creature, she meant Lombard. From Lombardy. I sound like I'm from Milan, in Italian. Because I am. She was trying to say I have a northern accent. Sweet of you to compare me to movie stars though it was, Casper.

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COLIN: That's what I said, girl! Longobardi.[9]

She shoves Colin and Ginevra toward the car doors.

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MAEVE: We have to go upstairs, someone will call security because they think there are... hyenas in the parking lot or something.

She covers her mouth but laughs through her fingers.

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GINEVRA: Dio è andato in barca.[10]

She gets out of the car and holds the door for Maeve. Colin gets out on the other side.

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MAEVE: E i santi che inseguono le anatre.[11] And then they'll just call poor Ginevra. Our secrets will be out. Are you coming up with us?

Ginevra laughs.

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CASPER: I suppose I have before sunrise.

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GINEVRA: Yeah, let's get everybody inside before I get complaint calls. Babe, you take a lot of looking after. I don't know if we have much up in the fridge to drink. I can run and grab something, though?

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MAEVE: No! Of course not, farfallina,[12] don't leave me here with all these gentlemen. The minute you're out of the room it's all feet on furniture and rings on tabletops and, oh heavens, the swearing. It's truly terrible. Stay, we will all suffer polite company and whatever liqueurs are upstairs together.

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CASPER: Miss Bianchi, you've done so much already - just ask Andres to pick up whatever you need, tell him I say you're in charge tonight. Besides who else will keep us all in line?

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GINEVRA: Thank you, sir.

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COLIN: He's right. You goin' run yourself t'death, angelo.[13] Now I know you on duty'n all and so you can't go havin' a good time or nothing, but you can kick your heels up a spell, can't you? 'sides, I might have me a bottle or two tucked away in my room, ya know. For a rainy day.

Ginevra snorts.

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GINEVRA: Nonsense, Mr. Colin. Working for all of you is having a good time.

Casper looks at Ian, who is locking the car.

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CASPER: You still like scotch, yes?

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IAN: On occasion. Only when the mood strikes.

He claps Casper's shoulder. Maeve laughs and touches Ian's arm.

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MAEVE: Oh, always. Scotch is, I think, slightly below cars, but significantly above watches.

Ian takes her hand.

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IAN: Depends on the scotch. If you're coming up, Iversson, there's only one rule and that's to never drink anything Colin gives you. You will live to regret it, I can promise you that.

Maeve rolls her eyes at him. Casper texts Andres to ask for drinks, then to explain that he is spending the evening at the Penthouse instead of with Rosalina de Leon. He orders scotch for Ian, bourbon for Colin, strawberry wine for Maeve, and a white Italian wine for Ginevra.

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CASPER: Scotch you will have then, Kross. My Ma used to say its bad luck to not bring liquor to a host whose invited you drinking.

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MAEVE: Oh, but Colin promised to share, and now you've prejudiced poor Casper against him. Colin!

She waves at Colin.

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MAEVE: Your name is being dragged through the mud and I am not poet enough to save it!

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COLIN: Oh, I heard him! It's fine, darling, I can just get me a new one.

Ginevra grabs for the rose Colin is still carrying.

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GINEVRA: Give me that before it disintegrates, I'll give it back in a vase. Fine, we're coming. Get a move on, tu polpetta dalle gambe lunghe.[14]

Colin lets her take the rose and laughs.

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COLIN: Ma'am, yes, ma'am!

He salutes Ginevra, then follows her. She nods at him and holds the door for everyone to go inside. Maeve laughs.

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IAN: Don't encourage him or we'll be stuck calling him something ridiculous the rest of the night. I'll just text Vincent if it comes to it. If he's not already prepared for exactly this sort of eventuality, then he's not nearly as on top of things as he pretends to be.

They all get into the elevator in the lobby.

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MAEVE: It seems best to be prepared, though, doesn't it? Something appropriately dramatic. He played for us all tonight, after all. Sebastian, Charlemagne, Solomon the wisest?

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GINEVRA: Charlemagne.

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IAN: Charlemagne. He does not need the help.

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MAEVE: Charlemagne is a lovely name. Regal suits Colin. Does no one else have any sense for the dramatic?

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COLIN: That's true enough, it is. And that ain't a cloud you're wantin' t'be under. That's the sort'a luck that lingers. I like Solomon. Least for tonight. I got all kinds'a wisdom to share.

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CASPER: Something ridiculous? That doesnt sound like the Shaggy I know.

He puts his arm around Colin's shoulders and jostles him. Colin laughs. Ian pulls Maeve closer.

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IAN: Yes, well then obviously you don't know him. I think we can all agree that Shaggy rather proves the point, hm?

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MAEVE: Exactly, only the most dignified for my thaisce.[15] What would they call him where you come from?

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GINEVRA: Don't look at me. I'd name my kids things like Aldo or Pietro, something normal. I didn't take whatever weird names class you all get when you, uh, make the switch.

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COLIN: But Aldo ain't too bad, I reckon. That one could grow on me.

The elevator reaches the top floor and chimes as the doors open. Ginevra scurries out and unlocks and opens the door to the penthouse. Colin jumps onto Casper's back.

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GINEVRA: After you, sirs.

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MAEVE: You see, if you had just helped him choose one, you could have prevented all of this with something more sensible. Now we must all be at the mercy of Casper and Ginevra.

Casper scratches his head.

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CASPER: Beowulf. A brave king and hero we can all tell the legends of.

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MAEVE: Oh, not Beowulf. Don't send our darling away to fight dragons. My nerves couldn't manage it.

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COLIN: Don't seem right, though. Me havin' a shiny new name all by my lonesome.

He bends forward to look at Casper.

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COLIN: How 'bout Finn?

Casper laughs and runs toward the penthouse door. Maeve laughs.

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MAEVE: Finn is lovely, though.

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IAN: First of all, Ian is both a perfectly reasonable name and the one I was born with, thank you. And secondly, people named Ginevra really shouldn't throw stones.

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GINEVRA: Right, because names that are nothing but vowels aren't lazy or anything. Sir.

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MAEVE: Oh, don't be jealous of Ginevra just because she has the loveliest name. Ian is a perfectly handsome name, too, and it has the advantage of being an original. It's... sturdy.

Ian snorts.

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IAN: I never said it wasn't a nice name. It's just not a normal name. There's nothing wrong with that.

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CASPER: Last ones there gotta drink Colin's surprise liquor! Vi måste dra våra klackar för att ge dem en chans.[16]

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COLIN: Now why would we do something like that? Fair's fair, son. Ain't no way 'round it.

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MAEVE: Oh, no, that'll be me, then. It always is. Well, I'm sure he'll be considerate of me.

They go inside. Maeve lets go of Ian to unbuckle her shoes, which she leaves next to the door.

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MAEVE: Dai, tesoro.[17]

Ginevra enters and closes and locks the door behind them, then picks up Maeve's shoes. Maeve begins unpinning her hair to fall down around her shoulders. Ginevra goes to the kitchen and rummages through the cabinets, pulling out a bottle of melon liqueur, a bottle of Kahlua, and an empty bottle of gin. She goes to the refrigerator and also pulls out a bottle of champagne. Colin jumps down from Casper's back.

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COLIN: And that's half the dang fun, Miss Ginevra! If it was easy, everybody would do it!

He grabs Casper and drags him back to his bedroom. Ginevra begins moving flower arrangements in the kitchen. Ian sits down in a chair in the living room. He reaches out toward Maeve.

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IAN: Come here.

Maeve comes closer and leans on the arm of the chair.

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MAEVE: Yes? Does your Lordship--

In his bedroom, Colin looks through his closet and tosses a pile of band t-shirts on his bed. Casper picks one up to look at it.

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CASPER: Wow, do all bands get a shirt now?

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COLIN: Yeah, I reckon they do.

He gathers up several small stuffed animals and puts them on top of his dresser. He pulls out a blue milk crate.

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COLIN: Hot dang. All right, son.

He gathers up several bottles and hands them to Casper.

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COLIN: That'll work for a start. Go on share the good news.

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CASPER: To start?! Uh oh.

They return to the living room.

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COLIN: Good news! Ain't nobody goin' thirsty tonight.

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CASPER: By a little alcohol, he apparently meant half the aisle.

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GINEVRA: If any of you ever went to the emergency room, I'd have it on speed dial, sirs.

Ian groans. Maeve slides away from him and goes to help Casper carry the bottles to the kitchen.

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MAEVE: Oh, here, use the counter. I might possibly be induced to admit that some of these might be difficult to find in any aisle, but only if it doesn't impugn Colin's honor any. I'm sure he'll be responsible.

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CASPER: I have no doubt he will mix something wonderful... in... whatever those are...

Ginevra puts Colin's rose in a vase and puts it on the counter.

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GINEVRA: There you are, Mr. Colin, that'll last a bit longer. I'm sorry, hon, I forgot to bring yours with us, they're still in the dressing room. I, uh... it was, era il caos[18], there was a lot going on. I can go back for them.

Maeve grabs Ginevra's wrist.

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MAEVE: Of course not! Leave them! I'm sure Delia will bring them by, and even if she doesn't, for heaven's sake, it's not as if we don't have enough flowers around. Look at Colin. If the Prince accidentally reads anything into it, I will just explain it to him.

Colin takes the rose and thanks Ginevra.

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MAEVE: He beat me in the door, I'm afraid. Longer legs than me, you know.

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COLIN: Course he did. I guess chivalry's dead'n buried, ain't it, son?

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MAEVE: Oh, not dead, surely, not with all you gentlemen here.

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IAN: What can I say? I'm a modern man now. Feminism and all that.

He chuckles. Ginevra snorts.

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COLIN: I got'chu, girl, don't worry none. You're safe as a babe in its mama's arms.

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MAEVE: You see, right now, for example. Thank you for sharing.

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COLIN: What's mine is yours, darling. And that's for better or worse, you catch my drift.

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IAN: Don't listen to her, Iversson. He'd poison the lot of us and he'd do it with a smile on his face.

Maeve steps back and surveys the counter.

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MAEVE: Well, fair's fair. I'm at your mercy. Oh, and we need to take something to Mr. Kross, of course. Not the Kahlua. He's been very nice this evening.

Ginevra gets a text message and sends one back.

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GINEVRA: Well, if he can survive for a little longer, there will probably be something more formal coming up.

Colin looks through the bottles. He hands Maeve a thermos in the shape of a cartoon Minion.

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COLIN: All right, this one's either pineapple or... butterscotch. Casper, you go on'n open up that champagne, we can start this here celebration. Ian can have the gin.

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CASPER: ...I fear I may have spoke to soon - where in the world you find that?

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COLIN: Oh, you'd be surprised, you'd be surprised. I find me all sorts'a things.

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IAN: Oh yes, I've been on my best behavior, ask anyone. I think that deserves a little something. Though I'll settle for the gin.

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MAEVE: Oh, not the gin. I couldn't consign you to the gin, Mr. Kross. Juniper tastes so much like medicine.

She goes to the living room and drinks from the thermos. She coughs.

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MAEVE: This, on the other hand, tastes like butterscotch. Like butterscotch pudding.

She coughs again and sits down on the couch. Casper opens the bottle of champagne by hand and catches the cork before it can fly away. He pours a glass for everyone and hands them out. Maeve tugs at Casper's arm and accepts a glass of champagne.

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CASPER: It can't have been that bad?

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MAEVE: Thank you. Of course not. It's lovely, Colin. It's like... oh, all the nice things we've left behind.

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COLIN: Don't that taste good?

He sits down between her and Casper. He puts down his flower vase and rifles through a shoebox from his closet as Maeve drinks champagne. He finds rolling papers and loose marijuana and rolls a joint. He hands the joint and a lighter to Casper as he accepts his glass of champagne.

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CASPER: Oh, I think I am good, do you own an ashtray though?

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GINEVRA: Oh, I'll get it.

She takes the empty bottle of gin and puts it on the end table next to Ian. She sits down in a chair across the living room and sips her own champagne.

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IAN: Thank you, Ginevra. I'm glad someone in this house is--

He picks up the empty bottle and shakes it.

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IAN: Reasonable. I was going to say reasonable.

He puts the bottle back down and shakes his head. He falls back in his chair and groans.

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MAEVE: I did try to say that you didn't want it.

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COLIN: There's a sucker born every minute and all of 'em stacked one on top the other still wouldn't have nothing on you, boy.

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GINEVRA: Don't look at me. I don't put empty bottles back in cabinets. I recycle.

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IAN: Jesus Christ. You've left me with Iversson. And he can't even open champagne properly.

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CASPER: There is a proper way to open champagne now? My apologies. Andres is bringing your scotch shortly, so no fear of whatever is in the little yellow spaceman.

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MAEVE: Oh, yes! There's a proper way to do everything, didn't you know?

She winks at Casper.

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CASPER: Never did know. They keep trying to teach me to be cultured but it never did stick.

He shrugs.

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MAEVE: I was taught that you should put a cloth over it first, just in case, so it doesn't pop and take someone's eye out. Of course, that's not a worry for you, I'm sure.

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IAN: You can just keep a good enough hold on the cork, if you're strong enough. The towel's really just for show if you do it right.

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COLIN: Now would'ja look at me? I feel right fancy.

He poses with his glass several different ways.

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MAEVE: You are fancy, dearest! Look at you. You carried off the night beautifully, I think. Don't you think so?

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COLIN: Why thank ya, darling. You didn't do half bad yourself.

Maeve giggles.

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MAEVE: Thank you, gallant sir, for being gracious to say so.

Casper hands Ian a glass of champagne.

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IAN: What am I going to do with that? Well, we might be outnumbered but there's something to be said for determination. And the timely application of brute force, if necessary. Obviously.

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MAEVE: Poor Ian; good thing Casper is here to save you. Although if brute force enters into anything, I'm taking all these delicious things with me into the stairwell.

Ian leans forward to whisper to Maeve.

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IAN: And I was taught that it was wrong to mislead people. It's things like this that make me question your upbringing, Ms. Glaistig.

Maeve huffs.

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MAEVE: Oh, yes, I'm sure it's only that. As if you could name one moment I have ever misled you, Mr. Kross.

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CASPER: What about the spaceman? Do you serve it over ice or...?

Andres arrives outside, carrying a cardboard box full of bottles of alcohol. He sighs and knocks. Ginevra starts to get up.

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CASPER: Oh that must be Andres - I can get it.

He gets up and answers the door. Ginevra sits back down. Casper takes the box from Andres and asks if he will stay. Andres shakes his head.

ANDRES: Got things to do.

Andres leaves and Casper closes the door. He returns to the living room and sets the box down on the counter. He removes bottles from it and gives Ian the scotch, Maeve the strawberry wine, Colin the bourbon, and Ginevra the white wine.

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CASPER: Kross, Andres says this is the "good stuff". Hope it's alright.

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IAN: Well, your man has excellent taste, I'll say that much.

Casper gives him a thumbs-up.

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GINEVRA: Thank you, sir.

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COLIN: Heck yeah! If that ain't just what I was looking for!

He opens the bourbon and drinks from the bottle.

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MAEVE: Oh! How did you know I love absolutely unrefined wine, Casper? You see? I also can't open this bottle with my bare hands. I'm quite helpless. Would someone mind?

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CASPER: Sweeter, lighter, fruiter the better? Maeve, I wasn't about to forget.

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MAEVE: Oh, dear, we are all remembering my failings tonight. Maybe we should all question my upbringing after all. If I must be terrible with wine, the least I could do is not tell people about it. Thank you for the bottle, Casper, it's lovely and I'll enjoy it.

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IAN: I would never describe you as helpless.

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MAEVE: Of course you wouldn't. That, of course, is because you are a gentleman.

Ian scoffs.

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IAN: That's what they say. That Ian Kross, what a gentleman.

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COLIN: Don't you listen t'him, girl. Tá fuil Medb Chonnacht agat i do fuileadán.[19]The rest'a them, they's just jealous.

He kisses the top of her head. Ian sighs and stands up. He takes Maeve's wine bottle and his scotch bottle to the kitchen. Colin takes the unlit joint back from Casper.

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CASPER: Regardless of what anyone has to say about the value of strawberry wine, I can assure you this one is the sweetest and among the finest around. When it comes to wine hidden gems like to hide behind labels as far as I am concerned.

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COLIN: Naw, that ain't quite it. You gotta put it in your mouth like this, ya see? Then you gotta light the end right here and inhale in the smoke.

He mimes how to smoke and then hands the joint back to Casper.

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COLIN: Go on. Now you try.

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CASPER: I'll have you know I have smoked the marijuana plenty in my day, I used to party with Jazz men you know, I know my way around a pod.

He pinches his beer open with the Potence discipline.

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IAN: You don't say. Never would have pegged you as the sort to smoke the marijuana. You're just full of surprises, Iversson.

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CASPER: I had a life I'll have you know.

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COLIN: Well now ain't that something. Jazz men.

Colin snorts.

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CASPER: Those boys were always hard to keep up with.

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COLIN: That'll do ya, though.

He giggles. In the kitchen, Ian takes out a tumbler and a wine glass. He then puts the wine glass back and takes out a second tumbler.

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IAN: And all wine is terrible. Everyone just pretends to like it to seem posh.

Maeve hugs Colin.

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MAEVE: Wasn't he magnificent? Go on and say something nice to him; don't you think he deserves it?

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IAN: Magnificent is one word for it. Outlandish is another. But I'm sure the Roses loved it. I've always said he was the embraced into the wrong clan.

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MAEVE: I'm sure they agree with you. I'll be spending the next few weeks just keeping them from beating down the door after him, I shouldn't wonder.

Ginevra sighs.

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GINEVRA: It was great. I'm not American but I'm pretty sure it was some good quality... cowboying.

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COLIN: Oh, being American ain't all that hard. Not at all. Ya just gotta say things like ya'll and yonder and the like. You'd pick it up real quick, I reckon.

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GINEVRA: Yeah, I don't get the impression it's actually very hard. It's got to be easier than learning French.

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MAEVE: Well, if they don't admit you were spectacular, it's only because you dazzled them too much, dearest heart. Never mind, I'm sure they mean it.

She nuzzles his neck and cuddles into him.

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MAEVE: They're just distracted, practicing their yonders and yes, ma'ams. They'll sound quite native any moment.

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GINEVRA: I said he was good. I was trying to vet the other new band, you know, the one that just showed up like fungus without warning. It's like the manager from hell just sending up whoever he saw that night.

Ian returns to the living room and puts Maeve's open wine bottle on the coffee table.

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IAN: There you are, my lady.

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MAEVE: Thank you sweetly, my lord.

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COLIN: That ain't half bad, darling! And neither was that fella what came out'n played with us. He was all right.

He nuzzles Maeve's neck, hums, and sighs. Maeve hums back and noses at him.

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COLIN: I sure hope he don't get et.

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MAEVE: I'm sure he'll be all right. Pieter wouldn't let anything happen to him.

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IAN: Oh, god, don't you start. One Irish cowboy's more than enough, thanks.

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MAEVE: Oh, I always thought I'd do all right as a cowboy. Don't you think so? I look very attractive in spurs.

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GINEVRA: Probably hard not to.

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COLIN: Sure 'nuff you would. You'd make a right fine cowboy you set your mind to it. Just gotta teach ya to rope'n ride, a'course. Get ya a six shooter to strap on your hip.

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MAEVE: I have a six-shooter. A very little one. Mr. Francetti gave it to me.

Maeve takes the wine bottle from the table and drinks directly out of it.

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GINEVRA: Oh, for God's sake.

She gets up and goes to the kitchen.

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CASPER: You know, he reminded me of the cowboy sign you see in every film depiction of Las Vegas, with the moving arm?

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GINEVRA: That's a real thing?

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COLIN: I know that sign!

He hugs Maeve and rests his cheek against her head.

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COLIN: That there's Vegas Vic you're talking 'bout. D'you know he used t'talk? Heck yeah! It's true. But some fella in the 60s was in town all the way from Hollywood, California to film one'a them movies and he fussed 'bout it being too loud so the folks that owned the casino muted the dang thing.

He shakes his head.

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COLIN: Ain't that always the way.

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CASPER: He did? Is he still there? I'd love to see it someday - my childhood had so many of the sites of America painted in silver, never thought I'd be here to see them.

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COLIN: Oh yeah, he's still there all right. Last I heard the arm don't wave no more, though, and it's a dang shame is what I say. Entropy, son. It's a helluva thing.

He shakes his head and hands Maeve the joint. She accepts it and takes a long inhalation. After several seconds, she exhales the smoke in rings and uses a finger to turn them into hearts.

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COLIN: Look at you! Shoot, girl. I swear there ain't nothing you ain't good at.

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IAN: I'm sure I could think of a few things.

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MAEVE: I wasn't sure I remembered how! That's my one for the year.

She puts the joint in the ashtray on the table and slides it toward Ian.

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COLIN: Oh, don't stir the pot now, darling.

Ian reaches for the joint. Colin puts one arm around Maeve and snatches the joint away from him. He stretches his arm so he can hold Casper's shoulder as well.

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COLIN: You know he's laced too dang straight for all that. You just goin' have him fussin' 'bout stinkin' up his suits'n the like.

Ian slumps back into his chair. Ginevra opens cabinets loudly in the kitchen and he laughs before calling out to her.

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IAN: Maybe something with a lid. And you're forgetting something very important, the both of you. There's no way you're getting on a horse without a ladder. Don't think that really fits with the aesthetic, luv.

Ginevra rolls her eyes.

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GINEVRA: There is not one drop of romance in your soul, Mr. Kross.

Casper notices Maeve and Colin nuzzling and loosens his tie.

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CASPER: We should all go see him! Road trips are so American after all! You can take your fancy car on all the high speed highways Kross.

He undoes the first few buttons of his shirt.

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GINEVRA: Just what we all need, more time in a car.

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CASPER: O-oh? That Robert fellow? He seemed to be doing alright, last I saw him, he was talking to Mr Voyager's childe?

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MAEVE: Oh, I know her! Her name is Rachel. She's very nice. She's a singer, too, you know.

Casper snaps his fingers and points at Maeve. He pats her knee and leans against Colin.

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CASPER: Oh oh that's her, yeah. Yeah, he played with you Beowulf, guess he was just making friends with fellow artists then.

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IAN: Did I meet her?

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MAEVE: Thoroughly.

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CASPER: Yeah she was the one with the very modern hair style who sat next to you and the Harpies for a bit?

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IAN: Ah. Then good luck, Robert.

Casper sinks into the couch cushions as he watches Colin and Maeve. He begins using the Celerity discipline to vibrate quickly and chuckles.

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CASPER: This is.... a lot stronger than I remember.

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MAEVE: All right, then, you all repair my aesthetic while I'm gone. Ginevra.

She gets up and wobbles, intoxicated, toward the kitchen. Casper whimpers as she touches him in passing. Colin grabs Casper's neck and kisses his forehead. He laughs and uses the Animalism discipline to calm him down. Casper hugs Colin.

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COLIN: You're all right, Casper. And heck yeah, we should! I ain't been out that way in'a dog's age. I could show you all sorts'a things. You ever seen the Grand Canyon? Shoot. That's thing's huge, you wouldn't even believe it. Well then it's decided, darling girl. You strap on that six-shooter and we'll be singing campfire songs in no time.

He points the joint at Ian.

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COLIN: She don't need no step stool neither, not with me around. Cuz some of us know how t'treat a lady?

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MAEVE: Then it's settled. Think how jealous everyone will be. When we just disappear, and all our campfire songs are just for you and me.

She leaves for the kitchen. Colin stretches out on the couch and slings an arm around Casper's neck.

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CASPER: I have only been in America for a few months, I never have seen any of it outside of pictures or films.

He leans his head against Colin's shoulder.

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IAN: I think I'll pass. I've never been a fan of wide open spaces.

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COLIN: Oh and you gotta get out there'n see all them stars in Hollywood. They got 'em right there on the pavement underneath your feet.

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CASPER: Yeah... let's do it... see it all while there is time.

Ian gets up and grabs the joint out of Colin's mouth.

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IAN: See what you've done?

He goes to the kitchen. Maeve is hugging Ginevra and kisses her cheek. Ginevra kisses Maeve's forehead and smells her hair.

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MAEVE: Non sai quando qualcuno ti sta cacciando fuori dalla stanza?[20]

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GINEVRA: Non so perché si sarebbe preoccupato. Il detto non è "cinque sono una folla".[21]

Ian arrives and leans against the doorframe.

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IAN: You know, you don't have to drink everything they set in front of you. You okay?

Maeve lets go of Ginevra.

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MAEVE: Of course I am. Why would you think I'm not, Mr. Kross?

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GINEVRA: It's fine, Mr. Kross. If she gets too tipsy, I'll just take her to bed.

She takes a wine glass and goes back to the living room. Ian bites his lip.

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IAN: Yes, of course. So you were just trying to get away from me then. If you're okay I mean.

He puts his glass down on the counter and begins searching through drawers.

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IAN: That's fine. You've been avoiding me all night.

He finds a lighter and lights the joint. He begins smoking.

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IAN: After my grand romantic gesture, too. It's a damn shame.

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MAEVE: Oh, now, sir. Don't try to convince me that was for me when we both know it was for Colin's sake. You could send me flowers at any show, after all. Not that you shouldn't have. He'll probably never put it down.

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IAN: What?

He scoffs and rolls his eyes.

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IAN: That's not - Come on. It wasn't not for you, too. Don't twist it around.

He splutters and Maeve laughs.

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MAEVE: That's a very nice way of thinking of the world. There are an extraordinary number of things that aren't not for me. Imagine all the legal grey areas.

She sighs.

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MAEVE: But avoiding you? What a thing to say. I could have avoided you much more successfully. I could leave this kitchen right now, couldn't I?

Ian steps closer to Maeve.

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IAN: You could leave.

He puffs from the joint, then coughs and laughs.

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IAN: Oh, Goddammit.

He puts the joint on the counter.

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IAN: Like I was saying... You could leave or you could stay in here with me. Tell me all about how much you missed me and what an excellent surprise that was. You know. All the things you've been waiting all night to say.

In the living room, Ginevra puts another ash tray on the table and sets the wine glass on Maeve's coaster. She puts her hands on her hips to look at Casper and Colin.

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COLIN: We'll just have t'make it good then, yeah? Make up for all that lost time! D.C.'s nice'n all, but it ain't got nothing on the rest of it. Did you know that the biggest ball'a yarn in the whole wide world is right here in these United States of America?

He grabs the bottle of bourbon.

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CASPER: Lets go see it then! Who else could say they've seen the biggest ball of yarn, pretty niche!

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GINEVRA: I can just imagine you two terrorizing the locals from here to the coast. Mr. Colin, who do you think is going to have to clean up after your feet on the coffee table?

Colin sits up and wipes the table with his sleeve.

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COLIN: There now, would ya look at that? Good as new! Don't fret none, Miss Ginevra. Why don't you come on'n lay down? You can help us decide all the places we goin' go on our roadtrip. You ever been out West?

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GINEVRA: I can't lie down, Mr. Colin, you know that. It wouldn't be appropriate.

She sits back down in her chair.

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CASPER: Oh - Oh! Niagara Falls! I remember when I was knee-high seeing a serial with a man going over in a barrel and surviving!

He drinks more whiskey. Colin leans against him and nods.

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COLIN: Yup, I seen that one, too. That's goin' be first on the list. I ain't never been to Niagra Falls, I don't think, but you're right, we gotta do it. Then the ball'a yarn. Then Vegas Vic.

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CASPER: Ending with those stars?

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COLIN: Heck yeah ending with them stars, we ain't gonna miss 'em!

He tousles Casper's hair.

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CASPER: Yes! Everyone gets to pick a thing! Where is somewhere you've always wanted to go Miss Ginevra, but never got the chance?

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GINEVRA: I'm Italian, this is west for me. Chicago's the furthest in that direction I've ever gone. I wanted to go to New York when I was a kid, but I did that already. It's a lot dirtier than you would think in the movies, by the way. Wherever Maeve is going.

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CASPER: Now come on, America isn't all bad. You never know what magical little places a country so big could be hiding.

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GINEVRA: Yeah, this country is ungodly huge. There's no reason for it not to be normal-sized countries except pride.

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COLIN: Most places are dirtier'n in the movies. I think it's cuz folks is pretty dirty, in the general sense. They don't show that in the picture shows, neither. You just ain't seen the right things yet, is all. I bet you'd like Vegas anyhow. They got all kinds'a shows t'see and you ain't gotta do more'n walk into one'a them casinos 'fore they start throwing money'n drinks at you. It's a helluva time.

He twists to look at Casper.

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COLIN: You play cards, son?

Casper watches Ian and Maeve in the kitchen and sinks into the couch.

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CASPER: Huh? Ah - not very well but I know how to play a few games. Gambling never exactly been my forte.

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GINEVRA: I think we have cards around here somewhere. Probably in the top of one of the closets.

In the kitchen, Maeve leans against the counter.

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MAEVE: I could. But I'm listening to you tell me all about how I missed you and what an excellent surprise it was. I'd hate to interrupt you.

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IAN: I am captivating, I don't blame you.

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MAEVE: I'm very good at waiting, don't you remember? I could wait even longer to say anything.

Ian chuckles.

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IAN: That's certainly not how I remember it.

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MAEVE: I can wait for all sorts of things.

She leans close to him and puts her hand on his arm.

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MAEVE: But do you know who hates to wait? Colin. And here we are ignoring him. He'll kidnap Ginevra and Casper if we leave him any longer.

She lets go of him and turns to walk back to the living room.

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MAEVE: Of course, the adventures they'll have will be lovely for them, but I would pine. Think of all the things you could tell me then. Nothing to do but tell me stories about all the things I'm always waiting to say.

Ian chases her and catches her arm. She laughs. Ian sighs and kisses her. She reciprocates and blushes, putting her hands on his chest.

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IAN: I could come up with a few things. Go on. I'll survive. Somehow.

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MAEVE: Do, please do. I believe in you.

Maeve returns to the living room and sits down on the couch next to Casper with a sigh. Ian watches her leave and then refills his glass. He takes another glass from the cabinet and fills it with water.

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GINEVRA: No one is kidnapping me.

She puts her feet up on the rungs of the coffee table.

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COLIN: Life's a gamble. Might as well try t'win, yeah?

He slaps Casper's back and gets up. He goes to the hall closet and searches it. Casper nervously plays with the buttons on his shirt.

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COLIN: What y'all thinking? I could sure go for some Blackjack, myself.

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GINEVRA: You don't bet anything weird, do you, Mr. Colin? This game is the same as it is for the rest of us, right?

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MAEVE: Of course! Blackjack sounds lovely. Although someone may have to teach me how to play. Not very much gambling in Clan Toreador. Not this kind, anyway. Where did my wine go?

Casper laughs and slides the bottle to her. Ginevra reaches over to smooth Maeve's hair.

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GINEVRA: It's next to Mr. Iversson, but honey.

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CASPER: At this rate valkyrie, you'll drink me under the table.

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MAEVE: We're definitely going to need a bigger table, then. But I doubt it. You see? I'm already being scolded for being such a featherweight.

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CASPER: I could maybe use a coffee or tea if you wouldn't mind Miss Ginevra, would you be so kind to join me? Mr Beaumont gave me a wonderful collection of nice teas and I think I am hooked.

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GINEVRA: I'll see what we have.

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COLIN: Oh, there ain't no reason to bet or nothing.

He moves to his bedroom and continues to search. He finds a pack of cards in the top of his closet and another in his nightstand. He takes both and returns to the living room.

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COLIN: And don't you fret none, my girl. I'll teach you everything you need t'know. It ain't hard at all, you'll be a dang pro in no time!

He sits down on the couch next to Maeve and pulls an ashtray over to his side of the table.

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COLIN: You want me t'be the dealer?

Ian returns from the kitchen and puts the glass of water in front of Maeve and the joint in the ashtray. He sits back down in his chair and sighs loudly.

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CASPER: Please do, I have not played in quite a while. I am glad we aren't betting money, if you're half as good at cards as you are at guitars I might be leaving in rags.

He nudges Colin.

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COLIN: Oh, I wouldn't put ya out in yer drawers, Casper, it's cold out there.

He starts shuffling the decks together.

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COLIN: I do like them shoes, though.

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MAEVE: Oh, don't take his shoes. He looks so woebegone without shoes on.

She laughs.

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MAEVE: If you two are already playing cards, then I'm already outmatched before I even try to start. But all right, Colin, I'll just trust you all to teach me so that I don't make too great a fool of myself.

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CASPER: Do not say such things Maeve. You mustn't give up on yourself before the game even starts - we lose every hand we do not play is the old saying no?

He nudges Maeve.

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CASPER: Besides if you play worse than me, I will be surprised even more than at Colin's ability to pick up the guitar in a week.

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MAEVE: Or, in my case, you also lose every hand that you do play. That isn't giving up, Casper, it's just being prepared for the inevitable. Giving up is what Ian is trying to do over there, as if losing isn't more fun than winning anyway.

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CASPER: I cannot believe that. If you accept defeat front he beginning then you lose all that is wondeful in life. The hope. If you say so, I'll just have to believe you.

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MAEVE: All right, then, I'll believe you, too.

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IAN: This is pointless and I want it on the record that I told all of you that very thing before the game ever started.

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MAEVE: The point is to enjoy it. You can enjoy things, you know, Mr. Kross. You don't have to be dignified every second. I'm sure everyone here will keep your secret.

Ian takes Colin's hat off his head and puts it on an end table. Colin swats at his hand.

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COLIN: Quit yer henpeckin'.

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IAN: You're in the house. And sure, deal me in. Why the hell not?

He pours himself another drink and offers the bottle to Casper.

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IAN: Come on, Iversson. Don't tell me you're done already.

Maeve drinks from the water and then from her wine glass. Casper rubs the back of his neck.

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CASPER: Well if you insist, but if this is a trick to make me bad at cards, I assure you it was unnecessary.

He holds out his glass and Ian fills it with scotch.

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IAN: No, this is a trick to make you not care how bad you are at cards. We're all going to lose, the trick is to enjoy yourself anyway.

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MAEVE: But Colin, we do have to bet. That's part of it. You can't play half of a game, silly. It doesn't have to be money, though. We could do anything. Jewelry, each other's drinks. Anything we can think of. Everything has value all its own, right?

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GINEVRA: Oh, just bet chores or play strip poker like normal people.

Casper blushes. Ginevra goes to the kitchen and fills the kettle before putting it on the stove. Colin offers the deck to Casper, who cuts it.

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IAN: Oh! I could go for a cup. If you're already putting the kettle on.

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COLIN: That's a real good point. We gotta bet something. I ain't got no jewelry or nothing like that, though. So I reckon that leaves clothes or drinks, yeah?

He shuffles again and puts the pack in front of Ian, tapping the top card.

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IAN: No, we do not have to bet something, we don't have to do anything.

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COLIN: Or secrets. Everybody's got secrets.

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MAEVE: I'd give you jewels to wager with, but then you'd owe me, my darling. You'll just have to bet whatever you find in your pockets. Or secrets.

Ian grumbles. Casper leans back on the couch.

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CASPER: If you insist on betting, then it is only fair that you chose out of the suggestions, Baubles, Tumblers, or Babbles.

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IAN: I'll do drinks. How about everyone takes a drink whenever they lose a hand?

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COLIN: Hey, now, ain't nothing decided yet.

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MAEVE: That isn't fair. You, sir, could drink the entire liquor store and still manage to stagger to bed all by yourself, but some of the rest of us couldn't. Colin-a-ghra,[22] why that's... it's cheating, that's what it is. And before we even start, too.

She laughs and leans against Casper. Colin also laughs.

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COLIN: He's always got his thumb on the scale, ya gotta watch him, girl.

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IAN: That's not cheating! You can't call a natural advantage cheating. Don't be a sore loser, we haven't even started yet, remember?

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MAEVE: Me, a sore loser?

She laughs, then huffs.

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MAEVE: The awful things you say, Mr. Kross. And bold things, assuming you'll win anything at all. Now, you see, I could offer to wager drinks. It means something if I drink. But I think instead...

She removes her earrings and holds them up.

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MAEVE: But these would look lovely on all of you. There, that's my wager.

Ian makes a face at her.

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IAN: I could accuse you of the same, you know. I must have forgotten to put my earrings on this evening, you see.

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COLIN: All right! I'mma deal each'a us two cards, face down. You toss in your bet, then you flip 'em over. Closest t'twenty-one without going over gets the pot. If you're real low, you can ask for another card, but if ya go over, that's it, you lost.

He deals out a round of cards to everyone. He digs in his front pocket and pulls out a hair tie, several loose keys, and an iPod and puts them on the table.

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COLIN: See, them keys could go t'anything at all. Maybe like a car or a house or, heck, even a safe! And who knows what's up in there!

Ian takes out his wallet and throws a five dollar bill on the table.

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IAN: There you are. All fair.

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CASPER: I suppose all I have to offer of value is my ramblings - or getting more intoxicated... winner's choice I suppose.

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COLIN: Yeah, how 'bout winner's choice? Whoever wins the pot can take their pick'a tales or drinks.

Colin grabs the bourbon bottle and flips over his cards to show a king and a two.

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COLIN: Now looks like I got'a King and a two. I'mma go on and get another card... and that's a seven. King counts for ten, plus two'n seven, that brings me t'nineteen.

Ian flips over his cards to show a two and a ten.

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IAN: Okay, hit me.

Colin flips over a six.

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IAN: Hit me.

Colin flips over a queen.

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IAN: Oh well, I look awful in yellow gold anyway.

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MAEVE: Oh, now, that's not true, you're very handsome in gold.

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COLIN: Ha! Serves ya right, accusing folks'a things all the time.

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IAN: Don't be a sore winner, either.

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MAEVE: I am never a sore winner. I... am a graceful winner.

Casper looks at his cards and then shows them to Colin and Maeve.

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CASPER: What do these cards mean? Bet it all first round? That's what the pros in movies do.

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MAEVE: Let me see!

She climbs over Casper's knee to get a look at his cards. He clenches his jaw and gets an erection.

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MAEVE: Oh, those are good! Having an ace is always good. You can get more cards. You want more cards, or Colin will beat you, go on and get more.

She sits back down.

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CASPER: Whatever you say, dróttning.[23]

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MAEVE: Oh, Swedish again, what does that mean?

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COLIN: Oh! Now an Ace is special, all right. It can be'a one or it can be an eleven. It's tricky like that. So with'a five, you either got'a six or a sixteen, your choice.

He flips over another ace.

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COLIN: So that's either a seven or'a seventeen.

He flips over a ten and laughs.

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COLIN: That's a ten. So you're back to seventeen or bust. What'chu doing, son?

He shakes his head and flips over a seven.

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COLIN: All right. Seven. That's twenty-four, so you're out. Better'n him, though, so that's something.

Maeve laughs and drinks more wine.

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CASPER: Just my luck!

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MAEVE: I, on the other hand...

She flips over her cards to reveal a seven and a king.

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MAEVE: Hit me.

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COLIN: Sure thing, darling.

He feels the backs of several cards and then pulls one and flips it over to reveal a three. He laughs uproariously.

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COLIN: And that's makes twenty-one, Miss Maeve, looks like the pot's yours.

He pushes the items on the table toward Maeve. Ian laughs.

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IAN: Bullshit! That's absolute bullshit and you both know it! Do you see this? It's blatant is what it is.

He finishes his drink and takes a twenty dollar bill from his wallet, which he throws onto the table.

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IAN: Fine. Go on then. Deal me in. I'm a glutton for punishment, apparently.

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MAEVE: Do you hear this man? He thinks I can't win without my brother's help!

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IAN: You're more than welcome to prove me wrong, madam.

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CASPER: Who do we call in the event of a cheat? A referee? Wed need an objective bystander - and we are all playing.

He leans into Maeve.

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IAN: Ginevra! We need you! These two have no sense of fair play!

Colin mimics Ian's accent.

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COLIN: You can't call a natural advantage cheating. Girl can't help being favored, Ian. That's down to a matter'a birth is all.

Ian giggles and shoves Colin's shoulder.

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IAN: Hey! Come on! I don't sound like that. I don't sound like a toff. Not that much of one, at least.

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CASPER: So what will it be Maeve? Should I take a drink, or are we to answer questions?

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MAEVE: My choice! Well, it has to be something that matters to each one of you, or else it won't matter at all. So you, my love, I'm taking this from you, and you can chase me around to try to win it back.

She takes one of the keys from the table and holds it up beside her face. Colin lights a cigarette and begins to smoke.

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COLIN: Oh, I'mma get that back.

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MAEVE: Since you have tolerance and twenties and I cannot possibly compete with them, Ian Kross, you can tell me a story.

She puts the five dollar bill back in the pile.

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COLIN: Winner's choice, that was the deal.

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IAN: Oh, no. I never agreed to that. Iversson gave you the choice, not me, I put in five dollars.

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MAEVE: Just a little one, of course, I don't want you to feel punished. And you should drink.

She winks at Casper. Colin deals another round of cards.

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IAN: Besides, you can't just demand a story. That's... that's too broad. I'm older than you are, I've lived a whole life. Ask a question or something, don't be difficult.

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COLIN: You go first this time, darling, since you won the last one.

Translations

  1. "my love" (Irish Gaelic)
  2. I guess his Lordship can't collect horses anymore, or whatever he used to do. (Italian)
  3. Here, babe. (Italian)
  4. Wait. (Italian)
  5. Can you imagine, a dozen of him? We are living in the wrong country. (Italian)
  6. I'll buy the plane tickets if you promise to send me all the pictures of your Scandinavian cruise. It'll have to have at least three scandals, or it wouldn't even be worth it, though. (Italian)
  7. "sun" (Irish Gaelic)
  8. "long-beard" (Old Norse)
  9. "long-beard" (Old English)
  10. God gone boating. (Italian)
  11. And the saints chasing ducks. (Italian)
  12. "butterfly" (Italian)
  13. "angel" (Italian)
  14. "you long-legged meatball" (Italian)
  15. "treasure" (Irish Gaelic)
  16. We'll have to drag our heels to give them a chance. (Swedish)
  17. Come on, sweetheart. (Italian)
  18. It was chaos. (Italian)
  19. You have the blood of Medb of Connacht in your veins. (Irish Gaelic)
  20. Don't you know when someone is shooing you out of the room? (Italian)
  21. I don't know why he'd bother. The saying isn't "five's a crowd." (Italian)
  22. "Colin-my-love" (Irish Gaelic)
  23. "queen" (Old Norse)

Trivia

  • The majority of this scene takes place in Italian, but is translated to English here for ease of reference.